Cautious ...

Well... I made it through another week. Same job .. same man .. But my outlook is slowly changing. . I have begun to actively look for a new place to work..  I figure something has to give.. for my sanity and my children's well being . I really don't have an attachment to the job anymore. I used to. There was a time that I couldn't wait to get to work.  Now I can't wait to leave and I dread waking up in the morning.
So.. it seems the most obvious choice to relieve some of the unproductive stress.
Now Jack.. well he suggested couples counseling (his mothers suggestion) .. I agreed.  Now I will wait and see if it ever happens. He tends to put things off until he is forced to do them. He has issues making decisions and bigger issues with getting anything at all done.. unless someone tells him to.  He just sort of exists .. which is a huge part of our problem.  I have also made a decision regarding that. I have decided to just let it be... I can't keep fighting no matter how much I really want this to work. This will take some getting used to as I am used to fighting and have major issues with letting go. .. But I will give it a try and hope for the best... We have both done are part to get to this point .. I just hope we can go on from here and begin to grow again.
I love him.. well at least I think I do. I never really understood the word love ... except for the love of my children it has never been an earth shattering emotion for me .. Jack is different in that it runs either hot or cold. There is no middle comfortable range. 
.. Anyway.. back to the changes.. I am looking forward to a new job .. Income taxes are due any day and I am going to treat myself to a few new additions to my wardrobe... and possibly some new shoes... I probably don't need the shoes but...I love them... call it an addiction.. vice.. whatever.. I don't indulge in it often .. but I may .. just this once!
Now the kids ... Well Ana and Alli have been spending time together again .. I don't really know what to make of it yet..  It's becoming an annual thing... they break up .. then get back together a month or two later. We will see.
Eddie and Marissa are getting ready for FCAT   .. Marissa has started going to a tutor for help in math.. and Eddie is HOPEFULLY studying for his testing.
Joaquin is learning more every minute.. He is amazing! I am considering taking him out of his current day care and placing him in a more structured environment.  I don't think they can teach him at the rate I know he is capable of.
.. Well the dog is chasing the children around the house and it is getting quite loud .. so off to make sure everyone is in one piece .. after that ..make a cup of coffee and check on the sauce.  Smells delicious BTW!!
I am hoping to write again later ... we will see ..